The Cool Rule Song and an Ironing Board

Just now, whilst I was receiving Tweets, drinking coffee, planning dinner and filing some papers, I looked up the word, 'Multitask'. Of course I know what it means.What parent doesn't? But I was curious. Can they possibly define such a term without mentioning the vocation of parenthood?

It appears not. For Oxford Dictionaries Online defines it as follows:

Multitask:  Dealing with more than one task at the same time
Parenting skills such as multitasking and concentrating amid distractions are easily transferable to the workplace

Hands up who's good at multitasking. I bet you're not as good as me. I bet I'm the winner (too much time with Big Tot, sorry). Honestly though, sometimes I find myself doing so many things at once I consider finding the nearest circus so I can borrow a glittery leotard. And maybe a head feather or two. It would certainly give the Tots something to talk / burble about.

I mention this, not because it's a particularly new or interesting thing. Let's face it prehistoric parents probably had a few things to juggle what with the attacking of beasts and picking of berries. It's just that recently, I seem to be taking multitasking to a whole new level.

The other day, after setting up the train tracks for Big Tot and presenting Little Tot with a plethora of soft play options which might distract him from ripping apart said train tracks, I decided the growing mountain of ironing could be ignored no longer. I set up a little workhouse in my tiny, tiny kitchen, firmly locked the safety gate and set to work.

Now I like ironing. There's something about the curling, rising steam; the rocking, rhythmical creak of the board; the soothing flowered scent of just-washed clothes. But lately (I probably mean for the past four years), it has been harder to enjoy such simple pleasures. Because I am constantly interrupted by the alarming cries of a toddler who can't find a toy or a baby who has eaten an entire pot of soil, I see ironing as a task rather than an activity. And by that I mean a task that can nearly always be put off until another day. Well, this was that day.

For some time now I've been trying to think up a Cool Rule song to sing with Tots at local toddler groups as a means of shamelessly plugging The Cool Rule Book to their parents and carers. A girl's got to earn a living. And, as I worked my way through that ironing pile my creativity must have got a boost because after a mere two hours of smoothing the family fabrics, I'd nailed it. The Cool Rule Song was born.

The amazing Cool Rule Book!

Yes the composition process was interrupted by toddler toilet trips and broken train tracks, but, as the dictionary definition outlines, I was able to 'concentrate amid distractions'. Big Tot asked repeatedly, "Why are you singing that song? Why don't you know the words?" and I gently explained that not only was Mummy an "Entrepreneur" (which he can now just about pronounce) but also a "Creative Genius". I could have added "Domestic Goddess", "Super Mum" etc but I didn't want to complicate matters.

So, if you know the tune to "Down in the Jungle" you'll be able to pick The Cool Rule Song up straight away. Oh, and you must adopt the appropriate grin, perform funky dance moves and use props where necessary. Here we go:

CHORUS
I've got a book that I think you should see.
It's got Cool Rules in it and it's special for me.
If I follow the rules, well you wouldn't believe,
How it makes us all feel happy!

VERSE
I can  . . . 
Brush my teeth - Cooool Ruling!
Brush my teeth - Cooool Ruling!
Brush my teeth - Cooool Ruling!
How it makes us all feel happy!

OTHER VERSES YOU CAN USE
I can . . . 
Share my toys
Eat my food
Hug my friends
Sleep all night
Remember I'm loved

So now that you've recovered from the shock of how damn good this song actually is, you can appreciate, I'm sure, what a feat of human endurance it was to compose it whilst performing a domestic duty such as ironing.

Hold off on the Nobel Prize nomination though, because the real test will be during my visits to local toddler groups. As we all know, toddlers know how to give an achingly honest critique. If The Cool Rule Song supported by a variety of soft toy props doesn't cut it, then quite frankly I am back to the drawing (or maybe the ironing) board.

Wish me luck,


Abi

If you want The Cool Rule Company to visit your parent and toddler group, nursery or library, get in touch now to hear how we can offer not only The Cool Rule Song, but also a positive parenting craft activity. info@thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

In Search of Supernanny

Please forgive me if I need to prop up my aching feet. Or if I need to rapidly replenish my hydration levels. Big Tot might be feeling the strain too because he's been my loyal companion on this epic journey. I didn't realise the two of us we were capable of travelling such a distance or bearing such a heavy load. And the journey, although long and winding and perilous and tough, is not yet finished.

So, just to recap, we started our adventure in the humblest of places, our living room. It was Saturday morning, the only time of the week when Mummy gets the monopoly on the telly. Supernanny was on. My absolute favourite. I'd set up my little arrangement of cushions, a cuppa, the remote and explicitly warned the Tots that Mummy was not to be relied on for anything for the next hour. Ironic that the only time I spend  ignoring my children is when I'm avidly watching a parenting guru, but such is life.

Big Tot and I had spent the first ten minutes having our usual argument about why Pokemon was strangely vacant from this morning's viewing. And I had the subtitles flashing away so I could at least read what was going on even if I couldn't hear it. And that's when inspiration struck me. I needed Supernanny's help.

And not in the way you might imagine. I wasn't yet desperate enough to make the emergency plea for Supernanny's parenting expertise as I could shamelessly swindle that off the telly. I needed her words. Her trusted, expert, dependable words. I needed her to endorse the Cool Rule Book.

Now I know my gorgeous, photo book creation is the answer to every parent's dreams. And the parents who've already bought it know that too. But the people who have not bought it, and have a rather demanding yet very wonderful toddler at home, need to know it too, don't they?

And that's where Supernanny could help. Or Jo Frost as she is more formally known. If only I could send her a copy of the Cool Rule Book, then surely she would be happy to emblazon it with some kind of statement of total admiration. Something along the lines of 'every family needs one'. Not too much to ask, is it?

Anyway, that's how the journey started. I leapt up from my cushioned arrangement, fuelled by my motivation to find Supernanny. Big Tot got carried away with it all ("I'm going to win! I'm going to find Supernanny before you!") and we began travelling the globe via the magic of the internet.

Was she in England doing her extreme parental guidance? No! Was she in Beverly Hills where oddly enough she seems to have an agent? No! Did her Twitter fan page have any idea? No! Did her website give anything away? Of course not! Where the flip was she?

And that's when we stopped for snacks. Refueling was important.

Did her Facebook page even belong to her? It appeared not! Hang on, what was that? That flashy pop-up type thing which Big Tot insisted might be a new season of Angry Birds. That was no angry bird. That was Jo Frost herself insisting that I come along to her brand new show which was - wait for it - live! Oh yes, we wanted to go, we wanted to go. Big Tot was going to take his plastic motorbike and I was going the take the Cool Rule Book and it was going to be a perfect end to a perfect adventure. Where was it?

Oh, er . . . Australia.

And that's when we stopped for more snacks. And more or less put the whole journey on hold.  No point bothering her Down Under now, was there? Surely it could wait until she returned. Now I just have to figure out where, exactly, she will return to.

And can you believe Little Tot missed out on all of this? He'd been on an adventure with far crazier heights and more extreme thrills than we could have imagined. Because scaling furniture is exciting stuff when you're fifteen months old. Maybe next time we'll join him.

But I'm not giving up on Supernanny. Not that easily.

Go well everyone,

Abi


Find out how brilliant The Cool Rule Book is before Supernanny does at www.thecoolrulecompany.co.uk and celebrate happy living with your little one today!

Olympic-Stylee

It's here folks. It's finally here. No, no, not the Olympics. You may think Michelle Obama is travelling to the UK for this Friday's opening ceremony. And she may think so too, but she hasn't yet heard about The Cool Rule Company and when she does she might just rethink her schedule.

I mean the build-up's been second to none. A whole year of dramatic events. Let's take a re-cap:

• Highly-strung three-year old (Big Tot) spins his tantrums into whole new orbit when his baby brother (Little Tot) comes along

• In a final act of desperation the exhausted, exasperated parents involve Big Tot in making a scrapbook of rules, consequences and photos of his world

• Said scrapbook adapts nickname of 'The Cool Rule Book' and becomes Big Tot's favourite thing (apart from Super Mario)

• Exhausted, exasperated parents become slightly less so

• Said scrapbook becomes aid to celebrate everything Big Tot can do well and a tool to help him learn what else is expected of him

• Said scrapbook attracts 'oohs' and 'aahs' from other equally exhausted parents

• Feeling all entrepreneurial, slightly-less-exhausted-mum shamelessly wrings dry all of the business support offered by local enterprise agency

• Wringing-dry of babysitting favours also occurs

• Blogging begins

• Business planning begins

• Slightly-less-exhausted-mum creates prototypes for other tots and runs a trial across the country

• Highly dramatised logo saga begins

• Trial gets outstanding results and indicates slightly-less-exhausted-mum should really take this idea to market

• Business planning nearly kills slightly-less-exhausted-mum (who is now exhausted again)

• Highly dramatised logo saga ends with very cool logo (energy restored)

• Overdraft is feeling the strain but slightly-less-exhausted-mum ignores it

• Business planning finished

• Website launched to the world

• Celebratory hot chocolate / wine / anything consumable to hand

And there we have it. The Cool Rule Company is officially up and running (Olympic-stylee) and ready for business.

The Cool Rule Book is my first flagship product. It is a gorgeous, glossy little book and it can transform the life you lead with your toddler. Honestly. It's that good.

It includes twenty-seven rules written with love and humour as well as spaces for your own personal rules. When you add photos of things your child will recognise, it becomes all the more meaningful. The categories cover all aspects of a child's life before school and are followed up by spaces for your own consequences of what happens when your child follows or breaks the rules.

The website tells you loads more (www.thecoolrulecompany.co.uk) and you can have a wee peep at some of the pages. It comes as a Standard Pack (with a special guide for the parents to get the most out of the book) or as a Bumper Pack (with the special guide as well as everything else you need to get started).

May I say you've been most patient over the last few months, as I have point-blank refused to reveal what my business venture has been all about. But now you know. And I hope you keep up with the Cool Rule Antics as they develop. And develop they will my friends. Develop they will.

Go Well,

Abi