Defining Moment from a Mathematical Mum

We all have those utterly defining moments as mothers. You know, those moments when the guilt, the responsibility, the joy, the terror or the absolute unquestionable love smacks us in the face and momentarily takes our breath away. Know the ones I mean? I bet you've got a million to choose from.

Because it's the month of March, the month of International Women's Day (rock on), Mother's Day (chill out) and, let's not forget pancake day (pig out!), I've asked some mums I know and admire to share a defining moment on the Cool Rule blog. I, myself, am usually unashamedly taking advantage of the blogosphere to share my own never-ending defining moments, so I thought it was time to let somebody else have a go.

Today, it's Alison Smith from Mark Stanley Accountants. Now I know Alison personally and she's so utterly approachable, it almost makes accounting fun! She specialises in working with small businesses and contractors but, more importantly, she's also mum to Sam, aged nine, who likes to keep her on her toes. Here's her chucklesome defining moment"


I often think of myself as having three children: my husband, my son and my dog. I love them all dearly, but they do take a lot of looking after! It’s hard to believe that Sam (that’s my son, not the dog) is now nine years old. Although I probably have it easier than most with just one child, life can still be as stressful as anyone else’s.

Having a sense of humour helps me cope with the stresses and pressures at work and at home. Ever since nursery Sam has been described as having a ‘wicked sense of humour’. He definitely takes after his dad in that respect. An example of this occurred last weekend, when we were walking through Chopwell woods with the dog. Sam stubbed his toe on a tree stump, and we were discussing the merits of steel toe cap boots, which daddy wears at work sometimes, when he is on site. Sam, knowing that I work in a relatively risk free zone of my office, tells me that I should get a pair for work, just in case I drop a pencil on my foot!

Alison with quick-witted Sam

 

















This is probably not that funny on paper, but believe me, coming from a nine year old boy in a sarcastic, dead pan tone, it was hilarious! I’m so glad he has a sense of humour, as this will get him through the difficult times, which are inevitably ahead of him. Having a laugh with your family, your friends, even watching TV, can lift your spirits like nothing else!


Aw, thanks Alison . . . we are totally with you on the merits of a sense of humour. An essential part of the parenting toolkit!

If you'd like to check out Alison's brilliant service for small businesses and contractors, just visit:

markstanleyaccountants.co.uk or on facebook.com/pages/Mark-Stanley-Accountants-Ltd/

And to find out how The Cool Rule Company's brilliant range of products can transform the life you share with your child, just visit our website, like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter! 

Olympic-Stylee

It's here folks. It's finally here. No, no, not the Olympics. You may think Michelle Obama is travelling to the UK for this Friday's opening ceremony. And she may think so too, but she hasn't yet heard about The Cool Rule Company and when she does she might just rethink her schedule.

I mean the build-up's been second to none. A whole year of dramatic events. Let's take a re-cap:

• Highly-strung three-year old (Big Tot) spins his tantrums into whole new orbit when his baby brother (Little Tot) comes along

• In a final act of desperation the exhausted, exasperated parents involve Big Tot in making a scrapbook of rules, consequences and photos of his world

• Said scrapbook adapts nickname of 'The Cool Rule Book' and becomes Big Tot's favourite thing (apart from Super Mario)

• Exhausted, exasperated parents become slightly less so

• Said scrapbook becomes aid to celebrate everything Big Tot can do well and a tool to help him learn what else is expected of him

• Said scrapbook attracts 'oohs' and 'aahs' from other equally exhausted parents

• Feeling all entrepreneurial, slightly-less-exhausted-mum shamelessly wrings dry all of the business support offered by local enterprise agency

• Wringing-dry of babysitting favours also occurs

• Blogging begins

• Business planning begins

• Slightly-less-exhausted-mum creates prototypes for other tots and runs a trial across the country

• Highly dramatised logo saga begins

• Trial gets outstanding results and indicates slightly-less-exhausted-mum should really take this idea to market

• Business planning nearly kills slightly-less-exhausted-mum (who is now exhausted again)

• Highly dramatised logo saga ends with very cool logo (energy restored)

• Overdraft is feeling the strain but slightly-less-exhausted-mum ignores it

• Business planning finished

• Website launched to the world

• Celebratory hot chocolate / wine / anything consumable to hand

And there we have it. The Cool Rule Company is officially up and running (Olympic-stylee) and ready for business.

The Cool Rule Book is my first flagship product. It is a gorgeous, glossy little book and it can transform the life you lead with your toddler. Honestly. It's that good.

It includes twenty-seven rules written with love and humour as well as spaces for your own personal rules. When you add photos of things your child will recognise, it becomes all the more meaningful. The categories cover all aspects of a child's life before school and are followed up by spaces for your own consequences of what happens when your child follows or breaks the rules.

The website tells you loads more (www.thecoolrulecompany.co.uk) and you can have a wee peep at some of the pages. It comes as a Standard Pack (with a special guide for the parents to get the most out of the book) or as a Bumper Pack (with the special guide as well as everything else you need to get started).

May I say you've been most patient over the last few months, as I have point-blank refused to reveal what my business venture has been all about. But now you know. And I hope you keep up with the Cool Rule Antics as they develop. And develop they will my friends. Develop they will.

Go Well,

Abi

Party On Dad

Why the nation was avidly watching The Voice, Britain's Got Talent or a heady, back-to-back, Sky Plussed version of both last Saturday night I do not understand. For there was a heated finale playing out in my own living room worthy of any slickly choreographed light show or swaying gospel backing choir. The. Final. Logo. Decision.

Yes, I did it. After going through a whole block of Post-Its and bullying anyone within spitting distance to give me an opinion I finally went ahead and formed an opinion of my own. After all, it's me who's got to be happy looking at it several years ahead when my business has dramatically morphed into a multi-million dollar empire. It's me who's got to slap it on everything related to my professional identity. And I am happy with it. I am excited about it. It is the only logo candidate that made me actually feel something. Whether a logo should do that or not is potentially a thesis all in itself but, being a girl who follows her heart, I have done just that.

So now is about the time I should be publishing it to the world, isn't it? And while we're on with it, why not actually tell people what my business is all about? Erm, well, no, actually. And there are two reasons for this:

1.) I am going to apply for a Trademark for my logo so nobody can nick it, meaning publishing it before that point, to all you good people, whilst I trust you all implicitly, would be rather dumb.

and . . .

2.) When I'm ready to go I want to be really ready to go with all whistles and bells and frills and cherries on top and a slickly choreographed light show and a swaying gospel backing choir etc etc. Considering I have yet to print a business card or buy a domain name, all of this may have to wait a few weeks / months.

Oh, and there's a number 3.)

3.) Big Tot and Little Tot don't appear to be going away.

Not that I'd ever, ever want them to, of course. But the fact remains that they are a wonderfully permanent fixture in my life and I must learn to mould my professional life around my domestic pursuits. Mummy first and dynamic entrepreneur second. I am not the first busy, run-ragged, rapdily-ageing parent to do this and I will undoubtedly be the last. And thank goodness because some of the most fantastic business ideas have been born out of the inspirational role of being a ma or a pa.

And whilst we're on the topic I'll raise a glass to my own inspirational pa who passed away last September. What a man. It would have been his birthday today so I'm celebrating with a whisky and diet coke (he was a single malt kind of guy and would not be amused by my cheap, uneducated palette). He was a whizz with graphic design and I could do with some kind of divine communication right now to get a few hints and tips on all my business-related design conundrums. Although I'm sure he's much too busy partying on up there with Steve (Jobs), Jimmy (Stewart), Duke (Ellington) John (Lennon) and Marilyn (Monroe, of course) to engage in any immaculate communication with me. Exactly how it should be.

So I will just be happy that I've inherited his eye for design and carry on as I have been. A whole lot of parenting, a healthy dash of marriage, a drop of business planning and a good slosh of being my Dad's daughter.

Go well,

Abi

Like A Baby

Well, the birthday came and went, as birthdays do, and I am entering the realm of the mid 30s with what I am describing as a mindful acceptance. I'm doing everything mindfully these days, on account of the five-week mindfulness course I've just completed in - of all the places in the world - Consett Industrial Estate.

Actually, it was a marvellous experience teaching me about being in the present moment and developing a more conscious connection with the body. The idea being that if you're focusing on your breath or your posture or the spot on the end of your nose then you're more able to deal with whatever the present moment is throwing at you.

I've dabbled in the whole meditation game before, but I must admit I lost the philosophies somewhere between squeezing two babies out and taking on the mammoth roles of housewife / mum / general superhuman being. So now I can safely say I've reclaimed it. Thanks to a gentle but firm reintroduction, I've rediscovered that by taking care of what's going on right now, I am able to move boldly into the future with compassion, humour and love.

Can't be bad, can it? Even if my friends are tapping their feet as I speak unusually slowly. Even if my husband is wondering why I keep disappearing so I can squeeze a meditation in between sterilising bottles and cooking dinner. The little ones are certainly enjoying it. What with bubble-blowing at bathtime, yoga on the living room rug and proper, from-the-tummy laughter, they've definitely got the best part of the deal.

Maybe this new approach to life is why today's morning business meeting took a grand total of three and a half hours. And why it entailed back-to-back cups of tea and an oil burner on the go. Or maybe it was because it was with possibly the most pleasant graphic designer I've ever met who agreed to come to my house so I didn't have to find a babysitter.

Carrie is her name and she's designing me a logo for my new business. What fun we had. In between (mindfully) changing nappies and using CBeebies iPlayer to within an inch of its life, we whipped up a multitude of possibilities to pitch to mums and dads and pretty much anyone who'd give an honest opinion.

At times the entertaining of the children got a little intense and I'm hoping Carrie understands that I don't usually plant my 10-month old in his highchair with pizza and chips and Tommy & Jerry on widescreen . . . only on the most important of business occasions.

So watch this space. The logo will be revealed in a matter of weeks for all to enjoy. But, please, don't look forward to it too much. Look at what's happening now and like a baby be mindful of each moment. Chew your chips. Swing your legs. Laugh at cartoons.

Until then, go well.

Abi

You can find Carrie's graphic design work at www.pressfordesign.co.uk
The Mindfulness people are www.livingmindfully.co.uk

34 Tomorrow

I'll be 34 years old tomorrow. Does that plant me firmly in my mid thirties then?

Is that why my nearly-four-year-old son throws his head back in disbelief when I casually call myself a girl and then practically snorts at me "No Mummy, you're a lady".

Is that why I had to tick a different box on a consumer survey the other day and reluctantly admit I am no longer in the 'Young Person' age bracket?

And is that why I'm here, desperately hugging a mug of hot chocolate with five (yes, five) floating marshmallows and musing over all the things I thought I'd have done by now?

I think we all know the answers to these questions. But how cruel that I can no longer make smudged mascara look cool. How tragic that I am unable to wear ripped jeans without the health visitor raising an eyebrow. And it's not fair that I can't look cool doing Zumba. Who invented this whole ageing business anyway?

But having said all that I'm really quite enjoying getting on a bit. For starters, and let's put the baby-birth hair loss and wobbly belly to one side for a minute, the last four years have given me two fantastic healthy children. They are the result of a heart-stopping romance leading to a happy marriage with my own dark, brooding Mediterranean man. I've had the courage to ditch a career I didn't want any more to boldly be the Mum I've always wanted to be. I've lived in three different countries and therefore met three sets of fabulously gorgeous people. And now, in a bid to tip the balance a little bit more in my favour, I'm starting my own business.

It's all new and exciting right now and whilst it's not exactly top secret, it's not something I'm going to shout about until I'm good to go. So until then you'll just have to be satisfied to know that it's cool and it involves rules of some kind and the antics will be posted right here.

Oh, and I found the inspiration for it during my ever-so-wonderful early thirties. Let's hope the mid-thirties have something to offer too (other than floating marshmallows).

Go well,
Abi