All Change

It's all change here in the Cool Rule household.

After two years of balancing parenthood with self-employment I've gone and got myself a 'proper job'.

And it's not just any job either. It's the one I wanted. The one I finally worked out that I wanted after pondering over and applying for many other jobs and imagining myself in an abundance of different lifestyles ranging from top positions with ridiculously high salaries to more humble work with rather insulting salaries.

It's not that I don't adore running The Cool Rule Company (or Kelebek Art, my little arty sideline). It's just that now it's all sorted and ticking along nicely, I wanted something else. I wanted something I could turn up to each day and know I was guaranteed to get paid, hence guaranteeing the mortgage people don't send the Heavies round. Because let's face it, as a busy Mum, one cannot fit the Heavies into a complex schedule of averting tantrums, wiping dirty bots and engaging in regular existential musings.

The Heavies would have to wait

Now don't get me wrong here. Self employment rocks. I've been self employed pretty much since I left university about a hundred years ago, and I bloody love it. But now I'm a Mum and have Tots to think about, the need to have an income that doesn't come in fits and starts suddenly looks very appealing. BC (Before Children) I was quite up for spending a whole project fee on a killer pair of jeans then living on rice for the rest of the month, but for some reason you're not allowed to do that as a parent. Sad, isn't it?

So anyway I must have spent a good couple of months applying for jobs in the sector I spent ten years in BC: arts management. All was looking good. I managed to write personal statements that weren't too poncy, got my references sorted and my CV was rocking up pretty well. But then there was a big, vacuous silence and I figured I had to reassess.

Now what? What was this silence telling me?

Well, it was telling me a.) it's blinking hard to get a job these days, especially in the arts sector since it's been slashed to within an inch of its life by our wonderful coalition government and b.) wasn't that just a teensy bit of relief I was feeling? Yes, it was definitely relief. And not just relief that I didn't have to go to a job interview for the first time in fourteen years, but relief that I wasn't going back to what I used to do. I just couldn't see it happening.

So being into meditation and all that jazz, I did a bit of tuning in and spacing out and finally got a hold on what was going on. It suddenly seemed blatantly obvious to me that if there was a theme running through all of my work with The Cool Rule Company and Kelebek Art, then that theme was wellbeing.

Wellbeing a plenty

The Cool Rule Book and all of the other Cool Rule products are aimed at living in the moment with your child, enjoying every unfolding moment and relaxing into the tumultuous rhythms of parenthood so that everybody benefits.

Kelebek Art provides bespoke artwork that is focused on inspiring and touching people. I like to think that everything I create has an undercurrent of healing and happiness.

And then, of course, there was my own wellbeing to consider, which would be pretty much torn to shreds if a new job didn't allow for time with the legendary Tots.

So wellbeing was key.

And because the universe is very crafty when it wants to be, a couple of ships came in for little old me.

I was offered an admin position at a company I've been banging on the door of for quite some time now. Living Mindfully provides courses in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and helps people weave meditation and mindfulness practices into their everyday life to improve their mental health and wellbeing. Having been wowed by one of their courses myself, I simply couldn't pass up the chance to see how this company works on a ground-level. And with future opportunities to train in mindfulness teaching methods, I was chomping at the bit.

Aren't they lucky to have me?

And if that wasn't brilliant enough, I've also been contracted to work on a local Arts on Prescription programme, teaching art to adults with mental health issues. And oh how I love these workshops. Unlike the millions of workshops I've taught in schools and youth venues, these people are willing, enthusiastic, unlikely to swear at me, and getting so much out of it, it is truly astounding.

So it's welcome to the world of 'proper' work for me. And, because everything has its flip side, it's welcome to the world of 'utter chaos in the household'. For the three days a week that I'm out proper working, and the hubby is home doing the childcare thing, pandemonium seemingly unfolds. Upon crossing the threshold of my lovely little home, I am so far repeatedly amazed by the way in which furniture can be rearranged, toys can be entangled, fruit peel can be adorning appliances and clothes can be twisted into disturbing formations. I feel like I've walked into Tracy Emin's latest.

I guess things aren't quite this bad . . .

Whilst Emin is sadly absent, the hubby looks up from his iPad cheerfully and smiles to see me home and the Tots practically rugby tackle me into full-on floor-hugs. And, in the ways of mindfulness, I decide to surrender to the sweetness of the moment and accept the mess.

It's worth it.

Go well,

Abi

To find out about the brilliant range of Cool Rule products for parents and toddlers, just visit thecoolrulecompany.co.uk 

Sign up for The Cool Rule Company newsletter, a monthly slice of parenting magic here.

Find beautiful, bespoke collage artworks at affordable prices at facebook.com/kelebekartbyabi

Discover the brilliant work of Living Mindfully at livingmindfully.co.uk

Find out about Derwentside's fantastic Arts on Prescription course at leisureworks.net/event/294/colour-your-life-open-art-studio

Defining Moment from a Marketing Mum

We all have those utterly defining moments as mothers. You know, those moments when the guilt, the responsibility, the joy, the guilt, the terror or the absolute unquestionable love smacks us in the face and momentarily takes our breath away. Know the ones I mean? I bet you've got a million to choose from.

Because it's the month of March, the month of International Women's Day (rock on), Mother's Day (chill out) and, let's not forget pancake day (pig out!), I've asked some mums I know and admire to share a defining moment on the Cool Rule blog. I, myself, am usually unashamedly taking advantage of the blogosphere to share my own never-ending defining moments, so I thought it was time to let somebody else have a go.

Today, it's Maxine Johnston from Maxine Johnston Marketing.What Maxine doesn't know about marketing and promoting small businesses quite simply isn't worth knowing. And, according to her nine-year-old daughter, she's really rather cool too. So let's see what kind of moment makes Maxine step back in awe at the role of being a mum . . .


My name is Maxine and I am mum to my gorgeous nine year old daughter. When Abi kindly asked me if I’d like to write about my defining moment of being a mum, I really couldn’t pick just one so I thought I would chat to you about a defining 'thing' we have in our house. 

Since I can remember music has been a big part of my life. I have been reliably informed by my parents that when I was brought home from the hospital as a baby, I was immediately played some Paul Simon. Since then music has shaped my life in so many ways. Thanks to my parents I have a broad range of tastes when it comes to music and with the exception of jazz (sorry jazz fans!) I will listen to just about anything.

Maxine with her daughter as a toddler

 











I wanted to bring my daughter up with the same ideal and she too will also pretty much listen to anything from Beyonce to BB King.

All my friends and family know I also love to sing and dance to any music that happens to be playing. I feel I have finely honed skills in both singing and dancing (although those closest to me feel these skills possibly need honing some more!). Most nights before bedtime my daughter and I sing and dance without a care in the world, along to carefully chosen tracks belting from You Tube.

The other night we were singing and dancing along to Olly Murs and I looked at her and she looked so unbelievably happy. Like any mum, I had a pile of dishes to do, work emails to answer and we needed to start the daily bedtime routine but none of that even mattered.

I took a moment to realise that I won’t get this time back. Soon she won’t want to sing and dance along with her embarrassing old mum. So for now we are proudly singing and dancing in our household. And we make no apologies for it!

Dancing is always best when cake is involved

Maxine, we are totally with you on this one. There can never be too much singing and dancing in a household! Maybe we'll put it as a rule in the next edition of The Cool Rule Book!

If you want to speak to Maxine about the marketing needs of your business, just contact her on maxine@maxinejohnstonmarketing.co.uk or on 07582 955 800.

If you'd like to share one of your own defining moments as a mum, just email abi@thecoolrulecompany.co.uk with 100-500 words and one or two photos of you and your children. If you have your own business, I'd be happy to feature information about that too.

And now you can check out The Cool Rule Company's amazing range of happy living products at thecoolrulecompany.co.uk, Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter!

Defining Moment from a Gem of a Mum

We all have those utterly defining moments as mothers. You know, those moments when the guilt, the responsibility, the joy, the guilt, the terror or the absolute unquestionable love smacks us in the face and momentarily takes our breath away. Know the ones I mean? I bet you've got a million to choose from.

Because it's the month of March, the month of International Women's Day (rock on), Mother's Day (chill out) and, let's not forget pancake day (pig out!), I've asked some mums I know and admire to share a defining moment on the Cool Rule blog. I, myself, am usually unashamedly taking advantage of the blogosphere to share my own never-ending defining moments, so I thought it was time to let somebody else have a go.

Today, it's Jacqui Bowley from JBow Jewellery. Jacqui is a diamond. She makes beautiful silver jewellery using crystals and delicate beads as well as bespoke silver prints so you can capture your child's handprint or fingerprint in 99.9% silver. And she's brave too. Not only has she shared her defining moment with us, but also a bit of background so we get a hint of her story too. Here we go:



Having struggled with post-natal depression after having both of my beautiful boys I often worry about the effects that it might have had on them. I especially worry about my eldest son as, bless him, he has watched me struggle with it pretty much all of his life up until about four or five months ago. Thankfully now, with the help of my family and friends, and the incredible, unwavering love I get from my boys, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Jacqui and her boys

 


















My defining moment (and there are lots to choose from) came one school day morning not too long ago. I don’t really know what happens in our house on a morning. There seems to be some strange shifting of time, or perhaps I just black out somewhere between 8.30 and 8.45am. Because things usually seem to be running along just fine. Plenty of time on the clock. Breakfasting, dressing, teeth brushing and all the rest of the usual morning routine seems to be somehow happening. Then, suddenly, as if some kind of evil time travel trick has occurred, there are only seconds left and if we don’t leave immediately we will be catastrophically late.

So, on this particular morning, running the usual risk of catastrophic lateness, I was telling the boys in as patient a tone as possible, that mummy really prefers not to be late and it would be ever so useful if they could put their shoes on etc etc. And just when I was about to launch into one of my famous lectures on lateness, my eldest, threw back his head, opened his mouth wide and started singing. Really, really singing. He was properly belting it out. I can’t even remember what the song was but it was lovely and loud and tuneful and just so full of expression. It was a real defining moment, plucked straight out of the normality of a typical morning in our home. Stress and worry were as far away from him as they could be and that's when I thought 'Jacqui, look at your son, singing away to his heart's content. You're doing just fine.'



Aw, Jacqui, we love this! And it sounds so familiar too.

If you want to see Jacqui's beautiful work for yourself, check her out on facebook:

facebook.com/JBowjewellery
facebook.com/preciousmomentsinsilver

If you'd like to share one of your own defining moments as a mum, just email abi@thecoolrulecompany.co.uk with 100-500 words and one or two photos of you and your children. If you have your own business, I'd be happy to feature information about that too.

And now you can check out The Cool Rule Company's amazing range of happy living products at thecoolrulecompany.co.uk, Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter!

The Silent Parent

How odd. This is what I thought during the lead up to February's half-term holiday. There was no sense of dread, no sweaty palms, no saving of pennies to spend on absurdly overpriced comics or loud, garish soft play centres. I was actually quite looking forward to it. Big Tot and Little Tot are getting on so well together at the moment and after a mostly lovely Christmas break I thought to myself, I can bloody well do this. And I can enjoy it too.

The hubby was absent and off in the land of work as per usual, so I accepted my lot, closed my eyes, and started my visions of merriment. I envisaged enthusiastic beach exploring. Energetic nature walks. Imaginative storybook sessions. Hilarious games of hide and seek. Nothing could stop us. We were going to have fun, fun, fun.

Surely, this is how it would be?

Or maybe not.

Two days before break-up and the dizzy spells started. One day before break-up and a tickly cough had me demented. The day of break-up and there was a headache, earache, sore limbs and a sadly depleted attitude to the whole idea of any type of school holiday. As Big Tot's teacher handed him over to me at 3.15pm that day there was a look exchanged between us. We knew we were in completely different worlds she and I. She was sauntering off to relaxation, quiet and calm. I was trudging into sickly despair. And my kids were leading the way.

And just when I thought I could add no more symptoms to my list, you'll never guess what happened.

I lost my voice.

This has never happened to me before. I woke up the first day of the holidays and knew something was wrong but it wasn't until Big Tot walked into the bedroom grumpily demanding the iPad that I realised what had happened.

I had a good cough (owch). And a splutter (owch again). And I did my best to arrange my mouth into a shape that would surely make a noise and answer Big Tot with some cunning reason why iPads were not suitable for this time in the morning. It didn't happen. And he took the iPad.

While I was brewing a coffee and Big Tot was catapulting Angry Birds, I imagined what this meant for us. How could we explore on the beach if I couldn't scald Little Tot for eating seaweed? How could we have imaginative storybook sessions which lacked a storyteller? And never mind that, how could we even perform our basic daily tasks with a mother who couldn't use her best bossy voice?

Just then Big Tot realised something was amiss.

"Mummy? Why are you quiet?"

I tried. I did. But my answer was just a croak. So instead I crouched down to look my son in the eyes, gestured at my throat and did a kind of magic vanishing flourish with my hands, hoping he'd tune into me with some kind of awesome mother-son connection.

"Your neck is going to explode? Cool."

Okay then.

An hour later and Big Tot realised no neck-exploding was going to occur. So with some further gestures and my best attempt at a whisper he finally got it. He remembered his teacher losing her voice before Christmas and helpfully informed me that she found it again so I really didn't have to worry.

And that's when I got my mojo (if not my voice or my good health) back. Voice or no voice these holidays were not going away and if Big Tot's teacher could teach a class of thirty children without the power of words then surely I could manage my own children in the same fashion.


Eye contact was the real lesson of the week. Just crouching down, being on their level, and looking at them with whatever emotion I was trying to convey was powerful stuff. I always thought I did that anyway but now I will be very mindful to do it even more.

We did a bit of doodling, Big Tot and I. Mainly when I just couldn't answer his questions with the power of mime and dance. And let's not forget that this boy asks a lot of questions. "Why can't I stand on the dinner table? Where is my Super Mario hat? Why can't I play on the iPad for a thirty-seventh time?"

My genius artwork

And after a while, I realised that this child doesn't always need an answer. I realised that after a while he just forgets what he's asking and swiftly moves on to something else. Suddenly the reason why wood is brown isn't so intriguing. And the crucial need to know whether Batman lets Robin have annual leave is not so paramount. This came as a massive relief to me. Now I am freed from being the all-seeing, the all-knowing. A burden that was, if I'm honest, pretty hard to bear.

Little Tot was pretty considerate in that he didn't really care if I spoke to him or not, as long as I was there to climb all over, be covered in drool, have toys pushed in my face and have unwanted food chucked in my general direction. He got stern looks for the food-chucking but the rest was endurable.

And, at the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I have to say that The Cool Rule Book was a bit of a lifesaver. I could use it to point out when Big Tot was not performing up to his usual standard of teeth-brushing / toy-sharing / dinner-eating and, more importantly, when he did something wonderful, I could point at the reward section at the back, we'd exchange a knowing smile and then trot into his room to stick balls in his happy jar. And not even a word uttered.

Silent rewards

We did end up spending most of the week at home simply because within the confines of our little bungalow I could make the whole silence thing work. As my voice worked back to a whisper, we ventured out to see a few friends, and as the whisper turned into a voice we did, after all, end up in a loud, garish soft play centre. What the hell. It did the the job and, do you know what? the Tots didn't ask me for a thing the whole time they were there.

That's my boys.

Go well,

Abi



To find out more about The Cool Rule Book and all the other fantastic parenting products the Tots have inspired, visit thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

The Cool Rule Song and an Ironing Board

Just now, whilst I was receiving Tweets, drinking coffee, planning dinner and filing some papers, I looked up the word, 'Multitask'. Of course I know what it means.What parent doesn't? But I was curious. Can they possibly define such a term without mentioning the vocation of parenthood?

It appears not. For Oxford Dictionaries Online defines it as follows:

Multitask:  Dealing with more than one task at the same time
Parenting skills such as multitasking and concentrating amid distractions are easily transferable to the workplace

Hands up who's good at multitasking. I bet you're not as good as me. I bet I'm the winner (too much time with Big Tot, sorry). Honestly though, sometimes I find myself doing so many things at once I consider finding the nearest circus so I can borrow a glittery leotard. And maybe a head feather or two. It would certainly give the Tots something to talk / burble about.

I mention this, not because it's a particularly new or interesting thing. Let's face it prehistoric parents probably had a few things to juggle what with the attacking of beasts and picking of berries. It's just that recently, I seem to be taking multitasking to a whole new level.

The other day, after setting up the train tracks for Big Tot and presenting Little Tot with a plethora of soft play options which might distract him from ripping apart said train tracks, I decided the growing mountain of ironing could be ignored no longer. I set up a little workhouse in my tiny, tiny kitchen, firmly locked the safety gate and set to work.

Now I like ironing. There's something about the curling, rising steam; the rocking, rhythmical creak of the board; the soothing flowered scent of just-washed clothes. But lately (I probably mean for the past four years), it has been harder to enjoy such simple pleasures. Because I am constantly interrupted by the alarming cries of a toddler who can't find a toy or a baby who has eaten an entire pot of soil, I see ironing as a task rather than an activity. And by that I mean a task that can nearly always be put off until another day. Well, this was that day.

For some time now I've been trying to think up a Cool Rule song to sing with Tots at local toddler groups as a means of shamelessly plugging The Cool Rule Book to their parents and carers. A girl's got to earn a living. And, as I worked my way through that ironing pile my creativity must have got a boost because after a mere two hours of smoothing the family fabrics, I'd nailed it. The Cool Rule Song was born.

The amazing Cool Rule Book!

Yes the composition process was interrupted by toddler toilet trips and broken train tracks, but, as the dictionary definition outlines, I was able to 'concentrate amid distractions'. Big Tot asked repeatedly, "Why are you singing that song? Why don't you know the words?" and I gently explained that not only was Mummy an "Entrepreneur" (which he can now just about pronounce) but also a "Creative Genius". I could have added "Domestic Goddess", "Super Mum" etc but I didn't want to complicate matters.

So, if you know the tune to "Down in the Jungle" you'll be able to pick The Cool Rule Song up straight away. Oh, and you must adopt the appropriate grin, perform funky dance moves and use props where necessary. Here we go:

CHORUS
I've got a book that I think you should see.
It's got Cool Rules in it and it's special for me.
If I follow the rules, well you wouldn't believe,
How it makes us all feel happy!

VERSE
I can  . . . 
Brush my teeth - Cooool Ruling!
Brush my teeth - Cooool Ruling!
Brush my teeth - Cooool Ruling!
How it makes us all feel happy!

OTHER VERSES YOU CAN USE
I can . . . 
Share my toys
Eat my food
Hug my friends
Sleep all night
Remember I'm loved

So now that you've recovered from the shock of how damn good this song actually is, you can appreciate, I'm sure, what a feat of human endurance it was to compose it whilst performing a domestic duty such as ironing.

Hold off on the Nobel Prize nomination though, because the real test will be during my visits to local toddler groups. As we all know, toddlers know how to give an achingly honest critique. If The Cool Rule Song supported by a variety of soft toy props doesn't cut it, then quite frankly I am back to the drawing (or maybe the ironing) board.

Wish me luck,


Abi

If you want The Cool Rule Company to visit your parent and toddler group, nursery or library, get in touch now to hear how we can offer not only The Cool Rule Song, but also a positive parenting craft activity. info@thecoolrulecompany.co.uk