All Change

It's all change here in the Cool Rule household.

After two years of balancing parenthood with self-employment I've gone and got myself a 'proper job'.

And it's not just any job either. It's the one I wanted. The one I finally worked out that I wanted after pondering over and applying for many other jobs and imagining myself in an abundance of different lifestyles ranging from top positions with ridiculously high salaries to more humble work with rather insulting salaries.

It's not that I don't adore running The Cool Rule Company (or Kelebek Art, my little arty sideline). It's just that now it's all sorted and ticking along nicely, I wanted something else. I wanted something I could turn up to each day and know I was guaranteed to get paid, hence guaranteeing the mortgage people don't send the Heavies round. Because let's face it, as a busy Mum, one cannot fit the Heavies into a complex schedule of averting tantrums, wiping dirty bots and engaging in regular existential musings.

The Heavies would have to wait

Now don't get me wrong here. Self employment rocks. I've been self employed pretty much since I left university about a hundred years ago, and I bloody love it. But now I'm a Mum and have Tots to think about, the need to have an income that doesn't come in fits and starts suddenly looks very appealing. BC (Before Children) I was quite up for spending a whole project fee on a killer pair of jeans then living on rice for the rest of the month, but for some reason you're not allowed to do that as a parent. Sad, isn't it?

So anyway I must have spent a good couple of months applying for jobs in the sector I spent ten years in BC: arts management. All was looking good. I managed to write personal statements that weren't too poncy, got my references sorted and my CV was rocking up pretty well. But then there was a big, vacuous silence and I figured I had to reassess.

Now what? What was this silence telling me?

Well, it was telling me a.) it's blinking hard to get a job these days, especially in the arts sector since it's been slashed to within an inch of its life by our wonderful coalition government and b.) wasn't that just a teensy bit of relief I was feeling? Yes, it was definitely relief. And not just relief that I didn't have to go to a job interview for the first time in fourteen years, but relief that I wasn't going back to what I used to do. I just couldn't see it happening.

So being into meditation and all that jazz, I did a bit of tuning in and spacing out and finally got a hold on what was going on. It suddenly seemed blatantly obvious to me that if there was a theme running through all of my work with The Cool Rule Company and Kelebek Art, then that theme was wellbeing.

Wellbeing a plenty

The Cool Rule Book and all of the other Cool Rule products are aimed at living in the moment with your child, enjoying every unfolding moment and relaxing into the tumultuous rhythms of parenthood so that everybody benefits.

Kelebek Art provides bespoke artwork that is focused on inspiring and touching people. I like to think that everything I create has an undercurrent of healing and happiness.

And then, of course, there was my own wellbeing to consider, which would be pretty much torn to shreds if a new job didn't allow for time with the legendary Tots.

So wellbeing was key.

And because the universe is very crafty when it wants to be, a couple of ships came in for little old me.

I was offered an admin position at a company I've been banging on the door of for quite some time now. Living Mindfully provides courses in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and helps people weave meditation and mindfulness practices into their everyday life to improve their mental health and wellbeing. Having been wowed by one of their courses myself, I simply couldn't pass up the chance to see how this company works on a ground-level. And with future opportunities to train in mindfulness teaching methods, I was chomping at the bit.

Aren't they lucky to have me?

And if that wasn't brilliant enough, I've also been contracted to work on a local Arts on Prescription programme, teaching art to adults with mental health issues. And oh how I love these workshops. Unlike the millions of workshops I've taught in schools and youth venues, these people are willing, enthusiastic, unlikely to swear at me, and getting so much out of it, it is truly astounding.

So it's welcome to the world of 'proper' work for me. And, because everything has its flip side, it's welcome to the world of 'utter chaos in the household'. For the three days a week that I'm out proper working, and the hubby is home doing the childcare thing, pandemonium seemingly unfolds. Upon crossing the threshold of my lovely little home, I am so far repeatedly amazed by the way in which furniture can be rearranged, toys can be entangled, fruit peel can be adorning appliances and clothes can be twisted into disturbing formations. I feel like I've walked into Tracy Emin's latest.

I guess things aren't quite this bad . . .

Whilst Emin is sadly absent, the hubby looks up from his iPad cheerfully and smiles to see me home and the Tots practically rugby tackle me into full-on floor-hugs. And, in the ways of mindfulness, I decide to surrender to the sweetness of the moment and accept the mess.

It's worth it.

Go well,

Abi

To find out about the brilliant range of Cool Rule products for parents and toddlers, just visit thecoolrulecompany.co.uk 

Sign up for The Cool Rule Company newsletter, a monthly slice of parenting magic here.

Find beautiful, bespoke collage artworks at affordable prices at facebook.com/kelebekartbyabi

Discover the brilliant work of Living Mindfully at livingmindfully.co.uk

Find out about Derwentside's fantastic Arts on Prescription course at leisureworks.net/event/294/colour-your-life-open-art-studio

Defining Moment from a Marketing Mum

We all have those utterly defining moments as mothers. You know, those moments when the guilt, the responsibility, the joy, the guilt, the terror or the absolute unquestionable love smacks us in the face and momentarily takes our breath away. Know the ones I mean? I bet you've got a million to choose from.

Because it's the month of March, the month of International Women's Day (rock on), Mother's Day (chill out) and, let's not forget pancake day (pig out!), I've asked some mums I know and admire to share a defining moment on the Cool Rule blog. I, myself, am usually unashamedly taking advantage of the blogosphere to share my own never-ending defining moments, so I thought it was time to let somebody else have a go.

Today, it's Maxine Johnston from Maxine Johnston Marketing.What Maxine doesn't know about marketing and promoting small businesses quite simply isn't worth knowing. And, according to her nine-year-old daughter, she's really rather cool too. So let's see what kind of moment makes Maxine step back in awe at the role of being a mum . . .


My name is Maxine and I am mum to my gorgeous nine year old daughter. When Abi kindly asked me if I’d like to write about my defining moment of being a mum, I really couldn’t pick just one so I thought I would chat to you about a defining 'thing' we have in our house. 

Since I can remember music has been a big part of my life. I have been reliably informed by my parents that when I was brought home from the hospital as a baby, I was immediately played some Paul Simon. Since then music has shaped my life in so many ways. Thanks to my parents I have a broad range of tastes when it comes to music and with the exception of jazz (sorry jazz fans!) I will listen to just about anything.

Maxine with her daughter as a toddler

 











I wanted to bring my daughter up with the same ideal and she too will also pretty much listen to anything from Beyonce to BB King.

All my friends and family know I also love to sing and dance to any music that happens to be playing. I feel I have finely honed skills in both singing and dancing (although those closest to me feel these skills possibly need honing some more!). Most nights before bedtime my daughter and I sing and dance without a care in the world, along to carefully chosen tracks belting from You Tube.

The other night we were singing and dancing along to Olly Murs and I looked at her and she looked so unbelievably happy. Like any mum, I had a pile of dishes to do, work emails to answer and we needed to start the daily bedtime routine but none of that even mattered.

I took a moment to realise that I won’t get this time back. Soon she won’t want to sing and dance along with her embarrassing old mum. So for now we are proudly singing and dancing in our household. And we make no apologies for it!

Dancing is always best when cake is involved

Maxine, we are totally with you on this one. There can never be too much singing and dancing in a household! Maybe we'll put it as a rule in the next edition of The Cool Rule Book!

If you want to speak to Maxine about the marketing needs of your business, just contact her on maxine@maxinejohnstonmarketing.co.uk or on 07582 955 800.

If you'd like to share one of your own defining moments as a mum, just email abi@thecoolrulecompany.co.uk with 100-500 words and one or two photos of you and your children. If you have your own business, I'd be happy to feature information about that too.

And now you can check out The Cool Rule Company's amazing range of happy living products at thecoolrulecompany.co.uk, Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter!

Defining Moment from a Gem of a Mum

We all have those utterly defining moments as mothers. You know, those moments when the guilt, the responsibility, the joy, the guilt, the terror or the absolute unquestionable love smacks us in the face and momentarily takes our breath away. Know the ones I mean? I bet you've got a million to choose from.

Because it's the month of March, the month of International Women's Day (rock on), Mother's Day (chill out) and, let's not forget pancake day (pig out!), I've asked some mums I know and admire to share a defining moment on the Cool Rule blog. I, myself, am usually unashamedly taking advantage of the blogosphere to share my own never-ending defining moments, so I thought it was time to let somebody else have a go.

Today, it's Jacqui Bowley from JBow Jewellery. Jacqui is a diamond. She makes beautiful silver jewellery using crystals and delicate beads as well as bespoke silver prints so you can capture your child's handprint or fingerprint in 99.9% silver. And she's brave too. Not only has she shared her defining moment with us, but also a bit of background so we get a hint of her story too. Here we go:



Having struggled with post-natal depression after having both of my beautiful boys I often worry about the effects that it might have had on them. I especially worry about my eldest son as, bless him, he has watched me struggle with it pretty much all of his life up until about four or five months ago. Thankfully now, with the help of my family and friends, and the incredible, unwavering love I get from my boys, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Jacqui and her boys

 


















My defining moment (and there are lots to choose from) came one school day morning not too long ago. I don’t really know what happens in our house on a morning. There seems to be some strange shifting of time, or perhaps I just black out somewhere between 8.30 and 8.45am. Because things usually seem to be running along just fine. Plenty of time on the clock. Breakfasting, dressing, teeth brushing and all the rest of the usual morning routine seems to be somehow happening. Then, suddenly, as if some kind of evil time travel trick has occurred, there are only seconds left and if we don’t leave immediately we will be catastrophically late.

So, on this particular morning, running the usual risk of catastrophic lateness, I was telling the boys in as patient a tone as possible, that mummy really prefers not to be late and it would be ever so useful if they could put their shoes on etc etc. And just when I was about to launch into one of my famous lectures on lateness, my eldest, threw back his head, opened his mouth wide and started singing. Really, really singing. He was properly belting it out. I can’t even remember what the song was but it was lovely and loud and tuneful and just so full of expression. It was a real defining moment, plucked straight out of the normality of a typical morning in our home. Stress and worry were as far away from him as they could be and that's when I thought 'Jacqui, look at your son, singing away to his heart's content. You're doing just fine.'



Aw, Jacqui, we love this! And it sounds so familiar too.

If you want to see Jacqui's beautiful work for yourself, check her out on facebook:

facebook.com/JBowjewellery
facebook.com/preciousmomentsinsilver

If you'd like to share one of your own defining moments as a mum, just email abi@thecoolrulecompany.co.uk with 100-500 words and one or two photos of you and your children. If you have your own business, I'd be happy to feature information about that too.

And now you can check out The Cool Rule Company's amazing range of happy living products at thecoolrulecompany.co.uk, Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter!

Birthday Blog Post No. 4

Welcome to our birthday blog series, where I've handpicked the most amazing mums and business women I've met during the first year of The Cool Rule Company's trading. Here's yet another fab mumpreneur telling you why she loves The Cool Rule range, her business and above all, her kids. It's Michelle Rose from marketing company, Custard and Bear (random name, but cool, eh?).



When Abi approached me to write a blog post for The Cool Rule Company’s first birthday celebrations I was over the moon. “No bother,” I thought. “I’ll rattle that off in no time.”

Ha. Not quite.

I’m now over my deadline and frantically typing away whilst trying to settle my four month old baby, and hope that my two and four year olds stay sleeping.

Michelle with the original Custard & Bear

Welcome to my world as a Mumpreneur (and a Mumpreneur with three young kids at that!).

Businesses are like children; they thrive and flourish when paid lots of Grade A attention, they get grouchy and difficult to deal with when you give them Grade F attention.

So, how on earth do you give your kids and your business that Grade A attention when there’s literally not enough hours in the day? 

The amazing thing about meeting Abi, and all of her inspirational birthday business bloggers, was that they understand this juggling act. And let me tell you that juggling a business and being a mummy ain’t easy. It’s great fun, exhilarating, rewarding, empowering and just generally fab. But it’s also a knackering, ever-changing, constant battle of dividing your time between work and the kids, and trying not to feel guilty when you choose one over the other.

Michelle's awesome marketing agency

Other mums I meet often think that ‘working from home’ means I don’t really do much, and that my stress over work is a lame excuse as to why my house is always a tip!

However, I don’t stress over giving my business Grade A attention because it’s a fun hobby or a cute diversion from changing pooey nappies; I stress over it because my business pays my mortgage.

But, the downside of all of this juggling is that I often find myself fraught, tired and a bit wired. And, if I’m being brutally honest, I take that out on my kids. I get grouchy with them and snipe and whinge and moan at them and then wonder why they don’t behave like angels.

So, I bought Abi’s Cool Rule Book with a different reason to most mums. I bought it to remind me that my kids need me, my time, and a sane, fun mummy. Their Cool Rule Books are secretly my Cool Rule Books!

A very happy Big Tot with his Cool Rule Book

When I’m tired and at my wit’s end with them I pick up their books, look at all of our rules, see their smiley faces and I smile too. I mean I really, really beam from ear to ear.

And, armed with my smile and happy thoughts, I am Super Mummy – the most funny, silliest, cuddle giving, bubble blowing, lego building mummy for miles around.

And, do you know what? When I’m happy and the kids are happy then my business is happy. And that’s because the joy my kids have for life infects me; I thrive on their happiness and I’m inspired, motivated and full of ideas and my clients just love it.

I don’t think that when Abi launched the Cool Rule Company she ever dreamed that it was a tool to improve business productivity, but hey, for me that’s exactly what it is! It’s my bible on how to juggle being a mummy and being a mumpreneur and for me it’s invaluable.

Every business mummy should have one!

(Oh, and just in case you’re wondering what I do… I run Custard and Bear, a marketing agency, and we’re pretty awesome).



Michelle, we're so happy to hear that our Cool Rule Books have helped you in the enormous quest of raising toddlers and raising your business too - result!

If you want to contact Michelle or find out more about what she does, here are her details:

facebook.com/custardandbear
@custardandbear
custardandbear.com - website coming soon!

If you want to check out the genius of The Cool Rule Book for yourself, visit thecoolrulecompany.co.uk. Thanks for reading!

Birthday Blog Post No. 1

A Word from the Chillipeeps Lady!

Today is the first in our special series of blog posts to help celebrate the first year of The Cool Rule Company. Claire Mitchell from Chillipeeps has been kind enough to take time to write a few words and show you why she has been such an inspiration to me during my first twelve months in business. Enjoy!

Hello, my name is Claire Mitchell and I am the Inventor of the multi-award winning Chillipeeps Teat.

Claire and the genius Chillipeeps teat

The Chillipeeps teat attaches directly to cartons of ready-made formula and Volvic and Evian water bottles. We also have a Sterilised Teat and are about to launch the Chillipeeps Spouts for 6m+.
We now trade globally and have huge plans for the future to create a real difference for our babies.

The teat and the spout in action

It all began with a real ‘Eureka!’ moment when we had just set off late to a family party with our beautiful baby daughter. I knew I had cartons of ready-made formula in the car but I couldn’t remember if I’d picked up the clean sterilised bottle which I’d painstakingly prepared. I asked my husband if he’d picked it up, he hadn't and tried to convince me I definitely would have. So whilst I made him rummage through the baby bag to check, I ranted ‘Why hasn’t anyone invented a teat that can directly attach to the carton?’ It turned out I had picked up the bottle and off we went to the party.

Six hours later when the party was over and we got into the car, I told Rob I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Rob had already forgotten. ‘Why hasn’t anyone invented a teat that attaches directly to the cartons?’ We discussed it all the way home and after a little bit of research online, realised we may have come up with a good idea.

The result of that 'Eureka!' moment

I contacted Peter Jones from Dragons Den that evening and asked him to get in touch. His automated email response gave me the first steps of advice to contact the Patent Office and from there Chillipeeps was born. Genius!

I first met Abi and her funky Cool Rule Company at a local baby and toddler show, where I had gone to give away some Chillipeeps Teats and Abi had a stand. I was immediately drawn to see what she was up to. The branding was so vibrant and intrigued me as to what it was.

The branding that captured Claire's attention

Once Abi showed me the concept of The Cool Rule Book and her reward charts, I loved it. Having a little one myself, I just got it. I quizzed Abi a bit about what her plans were for the future and taking it to a larger audience and offered her my business card. Abi didn’t contact me straight away, which was a good thing as in the meantime I became a Mums Club Top 100 Business woman and within the 100 found a fabulous contact for Abi.

The Cool Rule Book for parents & toddlers

I hoped Abi would make contact one day and I’d have the opportunity to introduce them. Abi did finally get in touch and I gave her the belief and confidence to think big and I introduced her to my special contact, the Dodo Pad founder Rebecca. Fate works in fabulous ways and Rebecca was a perfect contact for Abi, to advise her on moving to a bigger stage.


Thanks so much Claire . . . it's been great to hear from you. And thank you for all your help and support to get The Cool Rule Company where it is today!

The next blog post is from a very talented paper artist, Poppy Lee. Check it out on Monday 8th July!

If you want to follow Claire and her Chillipeeps journey, use these links:

chillipeeps.com
Facebook.com/ChillipeepsTeats
Twitter.com/Chillipeeps

To find out what The Cool Rule Company can do for you and your toddler, visit thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

Happy Birthday to Us!

Well, The Cool Rule Company has made it to its first birthday! It started smiling months ago, it's finally sleeping through the night, has had a good few teething problems but hey, it's just about on its feet and making its own way in the world! Next thing I know, it'll be a toddler.

Any excuse for cake

This time last year I was pulling all the strands of my genius business idea together. The Cool Rule Book trial was done and dusted (with brilliant feedback, of course), the final draft was being lovingly printed and bound, the blog was up and running and the website was coming along nicely. There was only one thing left to do . . . register with the Inland Revenue.

That landmark call was made one dark, thundery afternoon whilst Little Tot was sleeping and Big Tot was at school. I gave my details to the lovely man on the other end of the phone and waited for his heartfelt congratulations. So I was most disappointed when he just asked me if I'd partake in a telephone satisfaction survey. Satisfied? No I bloody wasn't! Didn't he know the hours of toil I'd put in to get to this momentous day?

Luckily most other people I've met since then have been a tad more supportive. I've met some amazing parents trying to be the best mums and dads they possibly can be. I've been lucky enough to have the help of some brilliant business mentors, who have been so generous with their time and advice. And the number of talented, motivated, creative businesswomen I have met has astounded me. I mean, they're everywhere. You're probably sitting on one right now.

Me with the infamous Big Tot and my mentor, Anne

 

 

 

 

Maybe it's a sign of the times but it seems that women today are totally going for it. The women I've met over this year, through mummy-type-networks and right-on-women-type-networks, are calling on their creative powers to get that work-life balance right. What they don't know about combining family, work, health and wellbeing is, quite frankly, not worth knowing. And the important thing is, it's a path they've forged themselves.

I'll put my hands up and honestly say I am still forging my path. I know exactly where I want to be (cue the gentle rolling of waves, rays of sunshine, palm trees swishing etc etc) but the path to get there, considering I'm carrying two unruly Tots, a grumpy hubby and a stack of self-help books, can sometimes get a bit rocky.

I could Cool Rule on a beach

And that's why meeting all these amazing people over the last twelve months has been so inspiring. Yes, their businesses are important. And yes, some of them have some truly magnificent products and services out there. But they're also just normal women, trying to make it all work.

So I've had a brainwave. Let's bring them all together to spread the Cool Rule love. I've asked all of them to write a few words about their businesses throughout our birthday month of July. So, if you want to find out about some fantastic services, some genius products and perhaps get a few pearls of womanly wisdom then this is the place to be.

Go well,

Abi
xxx

The Boredom

Appearances can be deceptive.

I may be sitting here in my pyjamas, sipping a lemon and ginger tea and peering through a pair of reading glasses at the laptop, but please, don't let that fool you. The highlight of my day may well have been a cowboy puppet's rendition of the Toy Story theme tune at a 5 year-old's birthday party, but don't let that mask the more sophisticated interactions I have most recently been involved in.

In fact, during this particular month, you could even go so far as to assume I had a social life - one that expands beyond the usual soft play haunts. Amazing, but true.

I was starting to show the first symptoms of a very serious yet astoundingly common disease which, in the soft play circles we call 'The Boredom'. It happens to us all. Even if your children are brilliantly entertaining and continuously surprising (which my two are, fully certified), The Boredom can still set in. Even if you're well up on your positive psychologies and can meditate your way out of a nuclear holocaust, The Boredom can still hook in its claws and drag you down. And it's not pretty.

Kids aren't the only ones who get bored

So I was just starting to feel that familiar clawing when I decided something had to be done. I needed to clock up some serious anti-boredom points. And what better way than to start with my birthday?

I used my best bossy voice to insist the hubby got the day off work and packed the family off to the seaside and the aquarium for the day. I decided nothing would stop us from having fun, not even the weather, the overdraft or the potential for tantrums. We had cake (the detox is over, after all), we had wind in our hair and we had sand in our boots. Me: 1, The Boredom: Nil.

Not long after that, I spotted another opportunity on the horizon. My Mam was driving up to the Highlands of Scotland to visit family and really, how much difference would it make to her if I tagged along with her two grandsons? Surely the 8-hour car journey would be made more interesting with a few sugar-induced screaming fits and a record-breaking game of I-Spy? And her X-Trail does an easy 70mph so we were outrunning The Boredom good and proper.

Back home and back to reality. But not for long. I'd spent the last millennium (or so it seemed) organising a trip of the most professional nature for me to go to London Book Fair. I'd been advised by my lovely business mentors to do it, to find some exciting opportunities for my utterly marvelous Cool Rule Book. So off I went. I mean actually on my own, sans enfants. Can you believe it? I spent a whole four days away from the family nest and went swanning around with literary types at Earl's Court, grabbing goodie bags and learning about hybrid authors. Get me.

The Boredom was re-thinking its game plan.

But I had another trick up my sleeve. The theatre. And not just any old show. I was going to see my very own brother in The Reduced Shakespeare Company's Complete Works of William Shakespeare! There was much hilarity, much beaming pride and much in the way of after-show dinner and drinks.

That's my brother, in the middle

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's, Me: 4, The Boredom: Nil.

And just to put a very succulent cherry on a gorgeously sticky cake, on the last evening of this month, I am off to the theatre yet again. And my succulent cherry will be . . . Derren Brown. You know, that marvelous bloke who is otherwise known as a dark manipulator of magic and mind control. He is most definitely one of my favourite people to watch. And watch him I will! Whilst The Boredom shivers outside in the theatre's gutters, I will be marvelling at the mind tricks of Mr Brown in his brand new show, 'Infamous'.

Oooh, exciting!

I may have had a whole year's quota of social activity in only one month but it was worth it to remember there is a world outside of dirty washing and difficult meal times. Now I am ready to smile at the splattered yoghurt and laugh in the face of the broken washing machine . . . I took on The Boredom and I came out on top.

Oh, and I remembered to count my blessings. 1, 2, 3.

Go well,

Abi


Find out the ultimate way to fend off The Boredom with your toddler by visiting www.thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

Check out the tour dates for The Complete Works of William Shakespeare and see my brother be very, very funny! http://www.reducedshakespeare.com/tour-pages/schedule/

Find out about the next London Book Fair at www.londonbookfair.com

Marvel at the mind tricks of the master that is Derren Brown: www.derrenbrown.co.uk 

My Radio Story

I've been feeling rather keyed up recently because coming soon in the Cool Rule social calendar is The North East Baby & Toddler Show. Now there's nothing I love more than having a chance to rave about the Cool Rule range. It's fab to show parents, grandparents, childminders and carers how the Cool Rule Book and all the other fab Cool Rule products can transform the life they share with their toddler.

Looking forward to it!

So imagine my glee when I was asked by the organisers of the Baby & Toddler Show to go on BBC Radio Newcastle to further rave about The Cool Rule Company. And the glee was cranked up a notch when my good friend Maxine was also invited to join in to chat about her party-in-a-box business, Life's A Celebration. And that meant we could both plug our brand new joint venture, Moment Makers, a fabulous new at-home party experience for mums. Triple whammy or what?!

So for several days of blissful smugness, Maxine and I agreed that we shouldn't overthink it. Surely our natural enthusiasm would steer us into the direction of making radio art. This was, after all, only a few moments of recorded interview and would be edited and polished to perfection by the BBC's experts.

And that's when I got the call from the girls at The North East Baby & Toddler Show. "Erm, Abi, we've just found out you're going to be live on air. The Jonathan Miles Show. And it'll be a ten-minute interview tying into Mother's Day and International Women's Day. That's ok, isn't it?"

Of course I agreed that it was. That I wasn't at all phased by the change. That I knew all about talking into microphones and speaking eloquently and making an instant, meaningful connection with a radio audience. Of course it was ok.

So Maxine and I made good use of our time. Key messages were practiced and confirmed. Notes were avidly written. Radio voices were tried out. Panic was formed but quickly squished by messages of good luck from our friends, family and customers. It was all going to be alright. Big deep breath now. It was all going to be alright.

We arrived mega-promptly in the morning. Forty two minutes early to be exact. And the receptionist behind the rather magestic BBC desk directed us up to the canteen and assured us somebody would come and collect us for our interview. There was plenty of time for the supping of coffee and the re-checking of our notes.

Time well spent

Well, long after our coffees had been supped we started to wonder when someone was going to whisk us off to our interview. Surely we should be expertly surfing radio waves by now. We took it upon ourselves to go back to the reception desk and enquire.

As soon as the receptionist rang through to the correct department, a very harassed looking lady burst through a random door and shouted "Abi! We need you now!"

Maxine and I struggled through an intricate silver turnstile (which I considered hurdling over in the drama of the moment) and then raced down a corridor after the harassed looking lady who was jabbering away about some mix-up and a change in receptionists and how the girls from the Baby & Toddler show had been filling in for me. Filling in for me? Just how late were we?

Next thing we knew we were (silently) bursting into the Jonathan Miles studio. Now this was not the entrance we had envisaged. No jovial introductions, no explanations of the technical workings of the place. Nope. Just Jonathan Miles asking one of those poor girls from the Baby & Toddler show just why, exactly, women should continue to be internationally celebrated each year (oh lordy), as Maxine and I waited to be integrated into the whole experience.

And so the integration began. Mr Miles seemed rather intrigued by the whole naughty spot thing which was not really, as I recall, in my notes but I went with it anyway (I felt like putting him on a naughty spot for not coming to collect us from the canteen). And I did manage to squeeze in some info about The Cool Rule Book and how it's helping families across the nation. And then it was cue Maxine and her few seconds of fame.

Watch out Jonathan Miles!

I reckon Maxine and I did the best we could with the few seconds we were given and when I listen back to it, I marvel at how solid our voices sound considering we'd just done a full-on panic-sprint down an unnecessarily long BBC corridor.

Maybe we didn't get to chat about all the things we'd hoped to, but at least we'll have fun recounting how the mighty institution of the BBC was able to lose us in its very own building.

Have fun, go well,

Abi




The North East Baby & Toddler Show is at Newcastle Falcons, Kingston Park on Saturday 16th March from 10am - 4.30pm. Check it out and book your tickets now!
www.northeastbabyandtoddlershow.co.uk

Click on the iPlayer link below to hear us on the radio (available until 15th March 2013). Scroll along to approx 1hr 22mins to hear the point where we burst into the studio!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0151ld1

Find out why the Cool Rule Book and the whole Cool Rule range is sweeping the nation at:
www.thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

Find out how Maxine can help you with every party you'll ever have at:
www.lifesacelebration.co.uk 

Discover Moment Makers, the fantastic new at-home party experience for Mums at:
www.facebook.com/momentmakers or www.makethosemoments.blogspot.co.uk

The Silent Parent

How odd. This is what I thought during the lead up to February's half-term holiday. There was no sense of dread, no sweaty palms, no saving of pennies to spend on absurdly overpriced comics or loud, garish soft play centres. I was actually quite looking forward to it. Big Tot and Little Tot are getting on so well together at the moment and after a mostly lovely Christmas break I thought to myself, I can bloody well do this. And I can enjoy it too.

The hubby was absent and off in the land of work as per usual, so I accepted my lot, closed my eyes, and started my visions of merriment. I envisaged enthusiastic beach exploring. Energetic nature walks. Imaginative storybook sessions. Hilarious games of hide and seek. Nothing could stop us. We were going to have fun, fun, fun.

Surely, this is how it would be?

Or maybe not.

Two days before break-up and the dizzy spells started. One day before break-up and a tickly cough had me demented. The day of break-up and there was a headache, earache, sore limbs and a sadly depleted attitude to the whole idea of any type of school holiday. As Big Tot's teacher handed him over to me at 3.15pm that day there was a look exchanged between us. We knew we were in completely different worlds she and I. She was sauntering off to relaxation, quiet and calm. I was trudging into sickly despair. And my kids were leading the way.

And just when I thought I could add no more symptoms to my list, you'll never guess what happened.

I lost my voice.

This has never happened to me before. I woke up the first day of the holidays and knew something was wrong but it wasn't until Big Tot walked into the bedroom grumpily demanding the iPad that I realised what had happened.

I had a good cough (owch). And a splutter (owch again). And I did my best to arrange my mouth into a shape that would surely make a noise and answer Big Tot with some cunning reason why iPads were not suitable for this time in the morning. It didn't happen. And he took the iPad.

While I was brewing a coffee and Big Tot was catapulting Angry Birds, I imagined what this meant for us. How could we explore on the beach if I couldn't scald Little Tot for eating seaweed? How could we have imaginative storybook sessions which lacked a storyteller? And never mind that, how could we even perform our basic daily tasks with a mother who couldn't use her best bossy voice?

Just then Big Tot realised something was amiss.

"Mummy? Why are you quiet?"

I tried. I did. But my answer was just a croak. So instead I crouched down to look my son in the eyes, gestured at my throat and did a kind of magic vanishing flourish with my hands, hoping he'd tune into me with some kind of awesome mother-son connection.

"Your neck is going to explode? Cool."

Okay then.

An hour later and Big Tot realised no neck-exploding was going to occur. So with some further gestures and my best attempt at a whisper he finally got it. He remembered his teacher losing her voice before Christmas and helpfully informed me that she found it again so I really didn't have to worry.

And that's when I got my mojo (if not my voice or my good health) back. Voice or no voice these holidays were not going away and if Big Tot's teacher could teach a class of thirty children without the power of words then surely I could manage my own children in the same fashion.


Eye contact was the real lesson of the week. Just crouching down, being on their level, and looking at them with whatever emotion I was trying to convey was powerful stuff. I always thought I did that anyway but now I will be very mindful to do it even more.

We did a bit of doodling, Big Tot and I. Mainly when I just couldn't answer his questions with the power of mime and dance. And let's not forget that this boy asks a lot of questions. "Why can't I stand on the dinner table? Where is my Super Mario hat? Why can't I play on the iPad for a thirty-seventh time?"

My genius artwork

And after a while, I realised that this child doesn't always need an answer. I realised that after a while he just forgets what he's asking and swiftly moves on to something else. Suddenly the reason why wood is brown isn't so intriguing. And the crucial need to know whether Batman lets Robin have annual leave is not so paramount. This came as a massive relief to me. Now I am freed from being the all-seeing, the all-knowing. A burden that was, if I'm honest, pretty hard to bear.

Little Tot was pretty considerate in that he didn't really care if I spoke to him or not, as long as I was there to climb all over, be covered in drool, have toys pushed in my face and have unwanted food chucked in my general direction. He got stern looks for the food-chucking but the rest was endurable.

And, at the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I have to say that The Cool Rule Book was a bit of a lifesaver. I could use it to point out when Big Tot was not performing up to his usual standard of teeth-brushing / toy-sharing / dinner-eating and, more importantly, when he did something wonderful, I could point at the reward section at the back, we'd exchange a knowing smile and then trot into his room to stick balls in his happy jar. And not even a word uttered.

Silent rewards

We did end up spending most of the week at home simply because within the confines of our little bungalow I could make the whole silence thing work. As my voice worked back to a whisper, we ventured out to see a few friends, and as the whisper turned into a voice we did, after all, end up in a loud, garish soft play centre. What the hell. It did the the job and, do you know what? the Tots didn't ask me for a thing the whole time they were there.

That's my boys.

Go well,

Abi



To find out more about The Cool Rule Book and all the other fantastic parenting products the Tots have inspired, visit thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

Secret Tactics

So the other day I was casually flipping through the family calendar when I realised something that made me very cross. I realised that if you count the days from when Big Tot had his last day at nursery right up to when he starts going to 'big' school he is actually off for seven, not the widely presumed six, weeks for summer.

Seven weeks. That's forty-nine days. And that was enough to make me feel momentarily sick. It was a proper lump-in-the-throat, rapid-heart-beating, fiery cheeks kind of moment. How was I supposed to keep this going for seven weeks? No holidays planned. A dwindling overdraft. Two Tots expecting near miracles from me every single day for forty nine days? How could I find a number for the complaints hotline at the local education authority?

I peered into the living room at the Tots. Big Tot was lying under a blanket on the sofa playing with an electronic alphabet game and making loud, over-enthusiastic vowel sounds. Little Tot was making a dash for it into the garden of delights. Those delights being muck, muck, water and muck. Truth be known, they didn't seem to having such a bad time.

But what about me? Am I having such a bad time? Apart from my reaction to the the six week cover-up scandal, Is my summer really going that badly? Of course it isn't. Here I am, lucky enough to have a huge wedge of quality time to spend with my Tots, and a new business I can weave around full-time kiddy care. Things could be a lot worse.

Honestly speaking though, the summer holidays can be intense. There are times when I truly am out of resources, ideas and that mythical stuff called energy. I have secret tactics though. And they are lovely and life-affirming. Oh yes. My secret tactics totally rock.

And the best thing about these secret tactics is that if you are a parent, you probably do them anyway, without even knowing. But if you can become more aware of them, and practice them regularly, then things really do start to change.

Live In The Moment
You've seen your toddler do it. The total concentration on a snail's slimy movements or the unwavering dedication to the pages of their favourite storybook. Even the screaming meltdown in the sweetie aisle at a supermarket. Toddlers are experts at living in the now. So sometimes I get to it. I could be breathing in the sweet, just-washed scent of Little Tot's hair (even if he's whinging for his supper) or suddenly be in awe of the soft, reassuring grip of Big Tot's hand in mine as we cross a road. I have even mastered mindful nappy-changing. Oh yes. By being so committed to Little Tot and his gorgeous, dimpled bottom no other part of it bothers me. Living in the moment happily discards anything else that might be bothering you.

This too, will pass
I don't know who first coined this phrase, but when I first heard it, and related it to being a parent, it rocked my world. Sometimes it's a beautifully encouraging phrase. My child will stop being such a fussy eater one day. Soon my child will have have their hair washed without sobbing. But it can have a ring of sadness to it too. Perhaps one day my child won't want morning kisses. What if my child decides she doesn't want storytime before bed? But for me, just knowing, without a shadow of a doubt that 'this too, will pass' helps me to focus on the now, indulge in it, be grateful for it and embrace the ever-changing nature of this life we live. And here's hoping the Tots pick that up too.

Sit and smile
I'm loving this one. I read about it in Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Eat Pray Love' where she zips off to Bali, anticipating some mysterious lessons in meditation and actually just gets told to 'sit and smile'. You do run the risk of appearing to be a loon, mind you. As I well know. I have been known to sit and smile whilst Big Tot is having a meltdown on a naughty spot I have created in a supermarket. Or sitting and smiling whilst rocking a screaming Little Tot's buggy in a busy shopping centre. The possibilities are endless and the outcome is that you usually feel at least a teensy bit calmer, or at least able to find a funny side. Can't be bad, can it?

So there's three of my secret tactics. Why not go for a cocktail of them all? It's the only kind of cocktail I seem to be able to get my hands on these days. And I have to admit the high I've got from practicing these beats any Raspberry Mojito anyway.

So, with all of that in mind, I will press on through these summer holidays no matter how many days I may ultimately be faced with. The local Education Authority can breathe easy for now as I shall not be making that complaint after all. Not this year, anyway.

Go well,

Abi

Visit my site to find The Cool Rule Book - a tip top way to celebrate all that is cool with your toddler as well as getting to grips with discipline: www.thecoolrulecompany.co.uk

For more on 'living in the now', try 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle, available on Amazon
For more of 'this too, will pass', try 'The Illuminated Rumi' by Jalal Al-Din Rumi, available on Amazon
For more of 'sitting and smiling', try 'Eat, Pray Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert, available on Amazon

Like A Baby

Well, the birthday came and went, as birthdays do, and I am entering the realm of the mid 30s with what I am describing as a mindful acceptance. I'm doing everything mindfully these days, on account of the five-week mindfulness course I've just completed in - of all the places in the world - Consett Industrial Estate.

Actually, it was a marvellous experience teaching me about being in the present moment and developing a more conscious connection with the body. The idea being that if you're focusing on your breath or your posture or the spot on the end of your nose then you're more able to deal with whatever the present moment is throwing at you.

I've dabbled in the whole meditation game before, but I must admit I lost the philosophies somewhere between squeezing two babies out and taking on the mammoth roles of housewife / mum / general superhuman being. So now I can safely say I've reclaimed it. Thanks to a gentle but firm reintroduction, I've rediscovered that by taking care of what's going on right now, I am able to move boldly into the future with compassion, humour and love.

Can't be bad, can it? Even if my friends are tapping their feet as I speak unusually slowly. Even if my husband is wondering why I keep disappearing so I can squeeze a meditation in between sterilising bottles and cooking dinner. The little ones are certainly enjoying it. What with bubble-blowing at bathtime, yoga on the living room rug and proper, from-the-tummy laughter, they've definitely got the best part of the deal.

Maybe this new approach to life is why today's morning business meeting took a grand total of three and a half hours. And why it entailed back-to-back cups of tea and an oil burner on the go. Or maybe it was because it was with possibly the most pleasant graphic designer I've ever met who agreed to come to my house so I didn't have to find a babysitter.

Carrie is her name and she's designing me a logo for my new business. What fun we had. In between (mindfully) changing nappies and using CBeebies iPlayer to within an inch of its life, we whipped up a multitude of possibilities to pitch to mums and dads and pretty much anyone who'd give an honest opinion.

At times the entertaining of the children got a little intense and I'm hoping Carrie understands that I don't usually plant my 10-month old in his highchair with pizza and chips and Tommy & Jerry on widescreen . . . only on the most important of business occasions.

So watch this space. The logo will be revealed in a matter of weeks for all to enjoy. But, please, don't look forward to it too much. Look at what's happening now and like a baby be mindful of each moment. Chew your chips. Swing your legs. Laugh at cartoons.

Until then, go well.

Abi

You can find Carrie's graphic design work at www.pressfordesign.co.uk
The Mindfulness people are www.livingmindfully.co.uk